I’d been growling on about something to Snowy saying things like “I can’t believe xyz didn’t get back to me” or “how rude of abc to ignore blah blah it’s so disappointing“…when he reminded me of the phrase I’ve been using for years.
It’s ironic to drink one’s own medicine isn’t it – but it’s necessary more often than not.
He said “But Kay, you always say “you can’t be disappointed without an expectation“.
Ha! Isn’t that the truth?
If you go into something with an expectation of how it will be, how people will be, what you expect, you’ll always have those expectations met, exceeded or missed.
We have to have certain expectations of things otherwise we wouldn’t do them, arrange them or commit to them.
But, many a time, we can let go of our expectations. Stay open and care a little less.
For example, our weather here in the UK is so changeable.
We’re an island with the Atlantic all down one side and all the jet streams and weather systems it creates on our doorstep. To plan anything is to know it might pour down in the Summer or might be a heatwave and anything in between.
If, however, you live in Croatia or Greece for example, you can pretty much rely on hot and sunny weather for a long time. That’s why they’re such a popular holiday destination for us Brits!
So , in the sense of you can’t be disappointed without an expectation, the next time you hear yourself say or feel disappointed, check in with yourself about your expectations.
- What was I assuming would happen?
- What happened that I didn’t expect?
- Why do I feel let down/excited/surprised (fill in your version) ?
- What does this tell me about me and about XYZ?
- What do I need to let go of?
And then, add a healthy dose of ‘whatever‘ to the mix.
Take the lesson and and then move right along. Let them go…
It’s taken me a while to learn this one and, as above, I still need reminding!
Or in someone else’s words…
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If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”
― Sylvia Plath
And in other news…
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It was a lovely sunny day today and I sat outside for a little break. The forecast had been for a cloudy, overcast day and ‘shazam’ the sun came out. With no expectations I got a hug full of hounds in the sun!
Contrasting this with our local annual Village Fayre when expectations were high for a dry, sunny day. It was gloomy, cloudy and wet. BUT we went along anyway and ran the Crazy Golf in our anoraks. Snowy & Thelma had no expectations when they went in for the “Owner Who Looks Most Like Their Dog” competition. Out of 20 entrants, they came 2nd!
