When my client told me about her recent course along the lines of Confidence & Resilience and why she was put on it, my mouth dropped…

What?!  She explained about one of her colleagues in this financial institution was, without a doubt, bullying her.  Shouting at her in meetings and ignoring her when she spoke up.

But my client didn’t pushback and tried to ignore it and carry on…

Many people saw this behaviour happening, including her boss.

Her boss said, in a meeting with my client and the person involved, along the lines that my client needed to toughen up and a course on Confidence & Resilience would help her.

NOT taking on the behaviour of the other person.  

NOT addressing the source and the effects it was having.  

NOT looking more widely at the attrition which was occurring more widely due to this person.

What is that all about ?

I said to my client that she had had a part to play in all of this.

As we know, you can’t control what anyone does but you can control what you do and if or how you respond to behaviours.

My client, and her boss, were complicit in the situation which is now being addressed.

From my trusty Mac dictionary:

com·plic·i·ty | kəmˈplisədē  – noun –  the state of being involved with others in an illegal activity or wrongdoing : he is accused of complicity ina large-scale bribery scheme.

So, we always have to look at our part in a situation don’t we .

• What are we allowing to continue?
• What have we done about something which we know isn’t right?
• How have we pushed back and not thought it was all on us?
• Who else have we involved?
• How long are we going to tolerate this?

Or in someone else’s words…

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And in other news…

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Snowy and I got our glad rags on again last weekend and went to a fundraising ball.  It’s fun to get the sequins out, dance and be super social AND it’s also good to have a quiet weekend which is on our horizon for this weekend!  My friend Amanda and I scrubbed up pretty well last Saturday!