Make pausing part of your conversations

I don’t know about you but it’s easy to find yourself on a ‘gabbling to no-where.’.  That’s a phrase a client used and it’s spot on for what can happen when you don’t give yourself time to breathe and, most importantly and often forgotten, it gives the other person time to process and really hear what you’re saying. 

Pausing is a great way for you to calm yourself down, to consider what you’re actually saying and to really land your message.  The pause is key so, instead of it being something you suddenly remember to do or run out of breath/time/ideas and so have to pause – make a powerful, purposeful pause part of your conversations.

There are so many benefits to slowing down.  We can find outselves thinking as we speak when we’re not prepared or when we’re nervous.  The power of planned pause is multifunctional. For example:

• It makes you regulate your breathing, you stop – take a breath, look around – if you have to, count to say 3 and then keep going
  
• It helps others keep up and often keep awake (it’s very easy to tune you out when everything merges together) giving your speech pauses and then, interspersing them with checking in phrases like “any questions so far?” or “what thoughts do you have so far?” which also help calm you and show you that you actually care about the other person/s experience.  Oh, and just in case you didn’t think I really mean it, it buys you time.  Time to consider the route the conversation is going, time to gather your thoughts and take on feedback.  It also gives you time to slow your pace of speech down if you know you speak, as so may women do, too quickly.

• Taking a deep breath or just a breath itself gives you so many benefits – more oxygenhelps your brain be more nimble – it helps you regulate your tone, it will help you call to mind some of the things you’ve planned to say (of course, you did plan a bit, didn’t you?) and shine. 
• Trust me when I say I myself often take a sip of water, for example, not because I’m thirsty but because it’s a pause, it slows me down, it allows me, and it will allow you, those all important few seconds to consider what comes next. 

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”  Mark Twain