You’ll remember in the last Edition, I told you that a client and I were still giggling about a great example of “corporate gobbledeegook” which is – in both my experience and opinion – the polar opposite of the “clear, direct and precise” information that Zoë both needed and benefitted from.
So many examples surround us all the time of people/organizations trying to sound clever or more “corporate” by using words all the time like “strategy” when they mean “plan”, or “optimisation” when they mean “making the best of”. It’s such clunky, unnatural language and the potential to confuse, irritate and bore the audience (written/verbal = the same) is HUGE.
Here is a word-for-word live example noted down by one of my clients who attended a presentation on a new system for his industry. Interestingly, my client often presents his company’s plans (strategies!) to large groups and we’ve worked together on his own language when he’s speaking at the front. His ear is now finely tuned to pick this sort of stuff up and translate it into simple, clear information.
During most of the presentation he said he “tuned out” as it was so dull. He then decided to write some of the examples down because he said he’d never be able to remember them to tell me later!
To make the point, he’s translated for us what he understood the chap was trying to say:
“May cause you to erroneously populate mandatory customer-authorised validation fields”
You might put the information in wrong.
“If eligible we can validate the populated information to enable an accurate mandatory report to be submitted”
We can make sure it’s right.
“Automatic validation will provide you information on the validation and advise you of deficiencies if they exist on your mandatory reporting, this prevents ineligible reporting being submitted”
Our system picks up mistakes, so it doesn’t go wrong.
“Dedicated customer service representatives are available to communicate and subsequently deliver the solution to the client”
We have people here who can listen and help.
“Present your issues to client liaison development contact, and you will be afforded the opportunity, through a single source to satisfy your issues. We can do this through the most flexible and advanced technology reporting solution in the industry“
Tell us your problem and because we have a great system, we can fix it for you.
Whilst funny on one level it’s also frustrating and, I believe, dangerous. In this instance the audience didn’t have to make an important decision based on the presentation, it was a dull presentation about a system that they all knew a bit about.
What happens though when it’s crucial information, which we have to decide and act upon? Delays, fear, confusion, anger easily arise.
The chap presenting apparently seemed so pleased with himself with a sense of being “the big cheese” up the front.
Interestingly – and fittingly – my client said that all he and his colleagues were thinking about was “how long before I gnaw my own leg off” and “oh, that reminds me, I’m hungry, I wonder what sort of cheese to have in my sandwiches at lunchtime?”
My Dad always said “KISS“– Keep It Simple & Straightforward. It’s still great advice Dad and now more so than ever.