It’s a tricky old balance being friends at work and actually getting stuff done.

One of my clients was telling me how, with my encouragement and support, she’s stopped rolling over, extending deadlines and being as malleable as she had been.

She’s really started to push back and – at first – she’s been met with some resistance, surprise and not just a little resentment.

Instead of extending deadlines or allowing her colleagues to submit “sloppy papers” or “non specific deadlines” in their reports, she’s pushed back.

Here’s the thing though, push back doesn’t have to be rude, aggressive or upsetting for anyone.  It’s more about being assertive, standing your ground, being clear and firm.

Not always easy I know but so worth it.

So she told me that I was with her in a meeting when she said certain things weren’t good enough, not specific enough or missing deadlines and compromising their guidelines.

A few helpful phrases to have at the tip of your tongue as you do are:

• I hear you NAME and…<< what you want
• I can understand your frustration NAME and << what’s better/required
• It’s all part of the requirements of AUTHORITY
• We could be exposed NAME if we don’t ensure XYZ
• As everyone else has completed theirs NAME, I know you’ll understand if I send it without yours but I can wait another XX if it would help

The intention with all the above phrases is to stand your ground without being stroppy or aggressive.  You have a commitment to what you’re there to do…as do they.  Theirs doesn’t have to compromise yours…

People will treat you and test you all the time to see how far they can push you and what you’ll tolerate, what they can get away with and how far before you push back.  We know this with kiddies (and we all used to be one!)

Remembering you’re there with a job today and not to be everyone’s friend frees you from all the hand-wringing of being ‘nice’.  

You only have to look at your own behaviours to realise you probably do an element of it with certain people and wouldn’t dream of it with others!

Or in someone else’s words…

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And in other news…

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Dear Thelma has been such a trooper.  She’s been spayed this week and has been such a patient patient.  We’ve been quiet and ‘boring’ around her which has kept her sleepy as she recovers 💘