Taking the rough with the smooth and learning from it

I’ve always been a half-full kind of person.  If there’s a way to find the bright side in a situation or the best way forward, I like to think I’ll find it.  I named my businesses Way Forward Coaching and Way Forward Solutions for that very reason.  Move through things and take the learnings with you.  Pausing for a while is good, of course.  Regrouping is key when you’ve had a knock but, you have to move forward don’t you?   Otherwise you’re either standing still or moving backwards?

Having experienced so much emotion, surprise, shock, instant decisions and gratitude, all at the same time recently, I learned some key lessons.  Ones which don’t just sit in the moment of losing our dear, unwell hound, Miss Gina.

They’re 8 lessons which serve you well in life and here’s why.

• Stay Flexible & Trust.  We went with what was happening at the time and knew we would respond if the situation changed.  It did.  So did we.  So can you when you’re flexible and stay open.

• Enjoy & Embrace the Moment.  Whilst we were away at first, Pompeii and Herculaneum were brought alive for us by an Italian guide who was passionate about the place.  It was our first night and day and we made the most of every moment. You have to seize that day don’t you?  You don’t know when all the scenery will change.

• Trust Your Instinct.  As soon as we heard things had changed we booked our flight.  Didn’t wait or vacillate.  Booked.  Gone.  Home.  Act with your gut and don’t let others sway you.

• Take Comfort from Others. It’s easy to close yourself off and put on a brave face.  We were so helped by friends and the veterinary staff.  Sharing how you’re feeling and what’s happening helps the healing and releases the energy you use to act.  You trap energy when you try to be all stoic.  Let it go.  It helps.

• Listen and Ask Questions.  We had so much information and options.  I noticed how we weighed up the odds, went down the different avenues and I paused, a lot.  It’s so easy to rattle away thinking you have to know everything or understand everything.  Ask until you’re sure.  Ask again before you decide.  Then go with the decision.

• Be with Yourself.  Allow yourself to be quiet.  To think.  To hurt.  To be sad.  It has to be that way.  As HRH The Queen of England says “Grief is the price you pay for love”.  Whether it’s a creature, person, situation, relationship – you must allow yourself to grieve, adjust and move through and experience the sad as well as the good times.  It makes you real and really feel.

• Value Quality over Quantity.  Know when to say ‘enough’ – apply this one in any situation or relationship.  The quality of your work, your relationships, your sense of satisfaction outweighs cash and ‘keeping up appearances’ or doing what you think you ‘should’.  Quality of life for Gina was our deciding factor.

• Be Grateful.  All that you have and that you’ve had always helps you move through what you don’t have or what you’ve lost.  Remember what is good and what you’ll always have.

Easy to say I know.  Actually, very easy to do too, if you allow it.  Each of these 8 lessons I learned from allowing myself to let go of what should be and by accepting what is.

A couple of Miss Gina’s BIG lessons in life were “Be chilled and easygoing until someone threatens those dear to you” and  “The vacuum cleaner is the work of the evil pixies and never, ever to be trusted”.  Enough said.