I can see it all now, just like it was yesterday.

Every Tuesday night, I used to arrive for a Step Class and would watch, wistfully, through the window at the class just finishing. Everyone moving in syncronicity and with the thumping dance music and all the flow of it – oh how I longed to be in that class.

But I just looked, sighed and waited for my class to start. It happened for about 6 weeks. Watching for about 10 mins to the end of the that class before starting my much tamer Step class. I really wanted to be in Pete’s Aerodance class – but I looked at what was happening and knew I’d be like a fairy elephant.

One day, as I was staring at the women flying about Pete’s class, I said to another woman waiting outside with me, “Oh my Justine, I’d love to do that class, I’ve seen you in there and it’s so fabulous – I just know I’d never be able to do it.”

“Oh no Kay, you should give it a go – what you’re seeing is everyone flying around after 50 minutes of practicing each step and building on it to the next one. We start really slowly and build it up but you only see us at the end as we’re all doing the synced version. Try coming and starting at the beginning.”

You could say, “Derrrr Kay, it’s so obvious” but it had never really occurred to me. So, the following week I started the class. Knees knocking a bit!

Standing at the back and watching Pete at the front and copying him and all the other 4 rows in front of me.

Here’s the thing. Instead of flying about, we did one step about 4 times and then added another. And then another. By the end of the first class I was still fumbling but I was moving with everyone else and realised I’d only ever seen the finished version.

Within about 2 weeks of starting at the beginning of the class I watched women watching us (me!) through the window as we flew up and down the room. Within a couple more weeks I’d moved from the back of the class to the front row! Not needing to be at the back but actually wanting to be at the front, behind Pete and just seeing myself and all the other women behind me in the flow.

What I learned was how easy it is to judge yourself when you don’t know the process nor do you give yourself the benefit of being in the process.

Now, every time I judge myself against a version of excellence I remember this story. How easy it would have been to have stayed outside looking in rather than trusting myself and learning how to do it – from scratch – not 50 minutes after it had begun.

As a working woman, it’s easy to see people in their power, in their version of excellence (their equivalent of 50 minutes in) and assume you can’t ever be like that / do that / experience that.

What if you could?

– What if you could work and learn?

– What if you could build on what you know and learn it as you go along?

– What if your version of Pete’s Aerodance Class is just you assuming everyone’s better than you when, in fact, they’ve just had a bit more practice?

Go on, I dare you. Work and learn. Build your experience as you go. Everyone else is.